RATTLE TAT

mind the gap

I thought I was intelligent.

Until I tired the new networking site for intelligent people...

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party favours

I'm aware that my posts have become quite serious of late.

But don't despair. My daughter is having her sixth birthday party tomorrow (well, not her sixth party - the first three we coughed through, saying 'do you think she'll notice'?) so that should inspire some slight mouth-twitching hysteria.

These affairs, like weddings have a tendency to accrue stress and money on 'extras'. The party-bags have already gone from paper lunch bags to carefully bunched plastic ones (forgive me eco-Lord) with ribbon-frill ties. And I've already contemplated undoing them, cramming them with more junk - do you think they'll think I'm a stingy birthday mum?; and the cake's gone from a like-it-or-lump-it block of choc to one that I have built in my mind to be a triumph of SuperMummery. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I give you the Zoo Cake!

Whether the mint-stick gate-posts, marshmellow trees, sprinkled grass and rocky fudge landscape will look anything like the picture I am currently holding in my mind is one thing; and whether the plastic animals will stand up in it is another (I have Sick Zoo Cake theme up my sleeve in case of emergency)... and whether I can assemble the whole goddam thing in the ten minute time-frame currently allocated without throwing it all the wall and shouting 'fudge!' is again, another.

So, spirituality and much self-congratulation with my exercise discipline now blog-done and dusted, please tune back in for the real mum-on-a-wire you're used to... Just give me time to recover, post-party and post-medicinal....

eat, prey, love

I've just read Elizabeth Gilbert's unashamedly spiritual book.

I'd like to be spiritual, but I feel I'd be ashamed of it.

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class dismissed

I have to choose schools for the kids.

And I'm in no mind to.

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missing in action

I've been walking away from it all.

And getting closer to it all the while. 

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where did i come from?

The time has come.

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kill her heels

Celebrities are feeling the inch.

I'm not going to fall over myself to follow suit. Or shoe.

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sing us a song

The Eurovision Song Contest.

It may not be music, but plenty will be tuning in. And I know why.

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block head

I am currently suffering blogger's block.

I was going to try to write something funny about that - you know, something about plumbing - but I really can't think of anything.

about face: a reunion too far?

I love Facebook. I love finding old friends.

But will its domination mean the end of long-lost for the next generation?

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mother daughter

Not much posting at the moment. I'm busy having mother-daughter time - that's MY mother, with ME being the daughter. If it was 'quality time' with me as the mother, then it would probably comprise playing Woofy Woof goes to the Vet Hospital or feeding $2 coins into a rip-off supermarket ride fashioned as a Wiggles Adventure or something. No, this time, my mother is taking me out for coffee and pastries and decadent visits to the Clinique consultation chair - the stuff I normally slam vacuous 'do lunchers' for. And I'm loving the hyprocrisy. Anyway, in place of a decent post, here's a bloody good song called 'Daughter'. The lyrics are just lovely.

the credit crisis stole my style

Fashion despair! When everyone is making the pennies go further, where does that leave me?  

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pirate copy

Pirate theme parties: is walking the plank stepping over the line?

Yes, no, maybe.

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mind the gap

I thought I was intelligent. Until I tried the new networking site for intelligent people...

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mothers day

Why is this day different to any other?

It isn't at my house, more's the pity.

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so convenient

If you think you know what convenience foods cost us, think again.

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satisfaction not guaranteed

A new study shows having kids does not make us happy... Mmm, yes, interesting, nothing new... 

But what, then, does?

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a worldly lesson in humility

Always of the mind that the best lesson in humility is public humiliation, here's a tool to get you started. It's educational, too.

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the mother of invention

A machine that will make my breakfast?

How about a machine that will make me heard? Not mutually exclusive thanks to this little invention...

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girl interrupted

We all feel better now that Susan Boyle has been rescued from persecution.

But what about the girl in the audience? Won't someone throw her a lifejacket - please?

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