RATTLE TAT

mirror mirror on the wall

I'm being lazy at the moment. So instead of posting my own I'll-think-you-agree highly intelligent gems of insight into life, love and lidicrousy, I'm going to direct you to a terrific piece in this week's Guardian (UK). Tanya Gold (she's already in my Witheringly Good Writers list) hits the nail on the head when it comes to celebrity, expectation and the ugly business of beauty worship.

READ

surgical spirit

There are books to help your kids deal with life, death and divorce. 

Now there's a nifty little publication to help with their utter confusion when mommy drearest returns from clinic reborn, rejiggled, refit and re-figured. A better person.

I'd rather give myself a heart bypass than give my kids this book. Read here

shining example

A deserted ski lodge, an apline mountain out of season: a place where no one can hear you scream.

Good job, really. Read here

boy wonder

Because I don't have time to write a proper post, I'm going to throw a thought out there - and then revisit old ideas, and not necessarily mine. Here's the thought: what do we want our boys to be?

The stock answers (for I have asked) are Happy, Lawyer and A Good Boy To His Mummy.

Mine was 'Funny', which you can read at the inspirationally titled Funny Boy. Mmm what else do want our boys to be? How about A Girl... sit back with gin in hand and read Christen Clifford's brilliant Mommie Queerest.

(I shall be commissioning thoughts on daughters soon).

driving the milky way

Is lactating in transit the new trend in time-saving?

Read here

altitude sickness

Holidaying in the mountains, I'm getting a pretty good view of who I am supposed to be.

Yes, it's a self-indulgent introspective post.

Read here

doctor beat

Can modern music be the food of love... and if so, do our kids have to listen?

Yes, and yes. 

Read here

funny boy

Funny men get the girls.

But how do you turn a boisterous boy into comedic chap(lin).

I have no idea. But you can read my twitterings on the subject here

criminal birth record?

If you're planning to give birth at home, you could find yourself under house arrest.

Read here

shafted

Following an intense lice and nit destroying exercise (damn those intitutions of education) I found more. More grey hairs. What's more I found more grey hairs than I found critters. That much.

I'm fine with that, I really am. Indira, Golda, Me. It's all good.

I've had to re-read my last hursuit post to remind myself just how good it is... here

rhys academy

This has nothing to do with parenting, home life or neurotic journos... Okay, I lied about that last bit, because I'm about to name-drop and self-promote in order to cling on to the wee smidgen of glory I had as a general film and features jobber before being swallowed up by parenting magazines and domestic blister.

Okay, enough apologising. It's just that I keep reading these 'probing' interviews with Rhys Ifans which 'expose' his ability to do serious drama and darker roles (all while promoting the light-hearted The Boat That Rocked). Well, yeah, I knew that. I interviewed him, like, seven years ago, right. I did. Read it here . I'm extremely excellent, am I not? Diolch yn fawr.

kids: the final frontier

I hide behind my children. I realise that, now.

But the game will soon be up.

Read here

voulez vous?

In the UK, within minutes of giving birth a lady from Bounty pops round with free samples of Persil washing powder. 

In France, Les Mamans Yummants get a piece of paper with the details of local kinesitherapists - or pelvic police.

So while we prepare to get down and dirty with laundry, they get trained and tightened and straight back in the sack... What's more, the State pays for their pleasure.

Eye-opening article by Janine di Giovanni about her experience of post-natal care, Paris-style. Read 

here.

 

noise cancellation

Look what I found (thanks to Gadjets and Gizmos blog)! Yes, a Graphic Equalizer t-shirt. And it works! It's supposed to be for clubbers, but I would suggest it's equally useful as a garment to control rowdy kids. Pop it over their heads, and sell it to them as an anger gage - when the noise hits red, it's off to bed. Who am I kidding. Going to bed early will be a small price to pay for seeing just how long you can keep the LED flashing in the red zone. Maybe it needs simple modification - I'm thinking decibel-triggered chloroform. Nice idea, anyway.  

the cost of grannies

The UK government is thinking of rewarding grandparents for their role in childcare.

I say, have another macaroon and think carefully, very carefully.

Read here

earthhour, melbourne

My Earth Hour blog.

It's decidedly lack-lustre.

Read here

kids to the recession rescue

Because my posts have been a bit serious of late, I though I'd talk about something cheery, like the recession.

Read here

i mean it

What a bunch of lousy hypocrites. Parents, that is.

Or is it just me?

Read here

nature strip

Yesterday Ben and Matilda startled a friend with their bare essentials.

I fear our reputation as a family with loose morals is gathering momentum...

Read here

cash on delivery

Nadya Suleman did an amazing thing. She delivered her eight babies naturally in the peace and privacy of a home birth.

So now she wants to share it with the world. For a quick $1m.

Read here